175 (Count Them!) Baseball Relationship & Sex Metaphors
With assistance from Mae Mordabito
A site blending our passion for baseball, sex and cherry pie must, by definition alone, have the web’s most comprehensive list of baseball relationship and sex metaphors.
No one knows for sure when baseball terms became synonymous with sex but whoever started it ought to have a bleacher section at The Jake in Cleveland named after him. It’s such a simple concept that makes describing what happened last night between you and your significant other to a friend easier than hitting a home-run at mile high Coors Field.
Historically, metaphors linking sex and baseball are a fairly recent development. According the Entropic Memes, a blog billing itself as a “random musings on history, politics, and more,” baseball metaphors first appeared in a book about politics in 1920 and then again in a magazine article in 1936. Both times however, the terms referred only to progress in general. No innuendos, no hidden meaning, no nothing.
All that started to change however in 1940’s when a writer for a popular magazine for secretaries warned her fictitious younger sister just entering the work force to avoid office gossip. The sister’s advice included samples of typical office gossip followed by this observation about one of the gossipers, “that from a girl who’d tried to flirt with John and didn’t get to first base.”
Ok, but none of these instances though made any references to sex or relationships and all of them stopped at first base. No mention of second base or “grand slam,” “balk” or “rookies” for that matter.
Then came the 1960’s, the sexual revolution, and society throwing off its inhibitions faster than Buster Posey throws out a Dodger stealing second. The pitch came in a 1965 letter to Ann Landers from a 13 year old girl asking what “getting to second base” meant. The ever-prudent Landers advised the girl to “get out of the line-up and stay on the bench for a couple of years.” However well meaning, Landers’ advice went unheeded by lovers of baseball and loving. The ball had found a gap in the outfield and was rolling to the fence. The runners, shall we say, were rounding the bases.
So here is Home Runs & Cherry Pie’s complete, comprehensive, and exhaustive list of baseball and sex metaphors. Listed in alphabetical order the 175+ metaphors may be the most wide-ranging directory of baseball metaphors on the web, and we’re sure there more out there.
If you know one that is not included in the list, submit your metaphor in the comment section below. Mae and I will add the best ones to the list with the proper, and always discreet, attribution.
Ace – A woman that rarely lets any guys get on base.
Agent – Pimp
All Stars Game – Doing it with your ex-girlfriend while still going out with your present girlfriend
Around the horn – Tossing the woman’s panties around after a gang bang
Balk – Premature Ejaculation
Baltimore chop – Lorena Bobbitt
Bases loaded – 1) Being in the midst of a threesome, 2) A full orgy
Bat Boy – 1) Someone who has never done anything sexual with a partner, 2) Someone who frequently masturbates.
Batter’s box – A bed
Batting around – 1) Orgy, 2) Gang bang
Batting for average – Having sex on as many one night stands as possible
Batting glove – 1) Sexual aide, 2) Condoms or other contraceptives
Batting helmet – A Condom
Batting out of order – Gay sex
Batting practice– Masturbation
Being called up from the minors– Having a sexual encounter while not quite 18 years old
Being traded – Being dumped for someone else
Bleacher seats – Roommate watching while you have sex
Blowing the save – Being friends with a chick on the rebound and agreeing to listen to her whining in exchange for what you hope will be a good rebound lay, only to be denied
Bonds – An erection where the head inexplicably doubles in size
Box Seats – Waterbed
Breaking up two – A jealous rival prevents you from turning a threesome
Broken bat – Impotency, an inability to perform
Bunting – Masturbation
Bunting for a hit – An attempt by a person to seduce a woman perceived as uglier so as to “get back in the game”
Catcher – The passive receiver or bottom partner in (especially homosexual) anal sex or sexual intercourse
Catcher’s mitt – Female condom
Caught Looking – Caught checking out another girl on a date.
Charging the mound – 1) Titty fuck, 2) When two males fight over a desired female who was flirting with both men
Check Your Swing – Being about to get with a lover, but then at the last moment decide that it’s not a good idea, and that you’ll try your chances when a better partner comes along
Chin music – 1) A facial, 2) When a guy’s entire penis is in his partner’s mouth
Choking up on the bat – Deep throating
Clearing the bases – Changing the sheets
Closer – Signature finishing move
Coach’s box – Porn director’s chair
Complete game shutout – Anal sex
Corked bat – A man takes performance enhancing drugs.
Curtain call – A man’s best friend’s girlfriend calls invites him to come over for a quickie
Day game – Sex in the middle of the day
Dead ball era – The time before birth control or Viagra became available
Designated hitter – 1) A go-to casual sexual partner, 2) Prostitute
Disabled list – A person who has sex so many times they become exhausted
Double header – Sex two times in one day
Double play – Pleasing two lovers at one time, a threesome
Double switch – An attempt by a man to change the point of penetration, without warning the female.
Drawing a walk after a 10 pitch at bat – Getting a blow job after an hour of making out
Ejected from game – 1) The guy moved too fast and she’s not talking to him. 2) Partner throws off the other during rough sex
Error – Condom break
Extra innings – Lasting more than 9 minutes before cumming.
Farm system – Attractive girl’s less attractive friends who are easier to score on
Fast ball – A guy finishes after just three strokes
Fielder’s choice – 1) When 2 guys are both trying to get with the same girl, and you know that only one is going to reach base, 2) When one guy gets to first base, only to be rejected due to a friend’s dumb move
Fifth base – Anal sex
First base coach – A wingman
Five-tool player – A guy or gal good at foreplay, oral, regular, anal, and escaping without the spouse catching him/her.
Forfeit – Getting stood-up
Forgot the catcher’s mitt – Neglecting to bring protection
Foul ball – Being shut down, but in a nice way
Foul tip – 1) Venereal disease, 2) What a man gets when he sticks his penis in a foul vagina
Fouled out – The guy didn’t get anywhere with a woman, but not for lack of trying
Free agent – A recently dumped but currently unattached guy or gal
Frozen rope – Massive erection
Gambling on the game – Having sex without a condom
Game called on account of rain – A sexual experience interrupted by siblings, parents, roommates, police, janitor, etc.
Getting the signals crossed – Moving in for intercourse and ending up with a strike out
Grand slam – 1) Sexual intercourse four or more times in one night, 2) Sexual intercourse after knowing the other person for only one day, 3) Anal sex, 4) a pregnancy, 5, Taking a woman home for four straight nights
Grapefruit league – A woman with big tits
Ground rule double – 1) A woman swallows at the end of oral sex, 2) Having sex but only because the man took his lover out on an extravagant date. 3) Sex would have been possible, but someone forgot the protection, 4) A man flashed by a woman or vice versa
Hall of Fame – When you ask if “Was it good for you” and they say “YES!!!”, 2) 250 lovers in a lifetime
Hall of Fame weekend – A different lover every night of the weekend
Headfirst slide – Muff diving
Hidden ball trick – When a man tucks his penis behind his legs
Hit and run – Quickie, a wham, bam, thank you ma’am, 2) One night stand
Hit by pitch – Non-consensual kiss
Hitting for the cycle – 1) One guy sleeps with all of the girls that live in one location (e.g. 2, 3, or 4 room apartments), 2) Or when he doesn’t sleep with all of them he gets to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base with the others 4) Four lovers in one weekend
Hitting the foul pole – Missed the target and hit her thigh
Holding a runner on first base – Going down on a girl while trying to keep your dick hard
Home run – Sexual intercourse
Infield fly – Accidentally having sex with a woman’s inner thigh.
Infield Fly rule – When there is an unequal ratio of males to females at a party, and a member of the gender with more members leaves to create an equal ratio
Inside the park home run – 1) A non-intercourse orgasm resulting from dry humping (clothed genital to genital stimulation), 2) Oral sex given and received
Japanese leagues – Bukakke
Journeyman – A male slut
Juggling the lineup – Deciding which fuck buddy to go with for the night
Line drive – A man ejaculates on a woman’s face.
Local TV blackout – Hearing your parents have sex
Minor leagues – A lover under 18 years old, a minor
MoisesAlou’ing – Golden shower
Mound visit – Seeing your doctor about erectile dysfunction, venereal disease.
Night game – Necrophilia, being sexually attracted to corpses
Ninth inning – Sexual encounter with an elderly person
No hitter – Abstinence from sexual activity
No hitter – Standing blow job
Non-batter – Virgin, usually by choice
On-deck – 1) Waiting for her to dump her boyfriend/husband, 2) flirting while holding hands
Out of play – That time of the month
Out of the park homerun – Going to the bar at 10:30pm, getting drunk, leaving the bar with a woman you just met, fucking her, and going to bed, all before midnight.
Passed ball – A woman dodges a guy’s load
Perfect game – Standing 69
Perfect week – Taking a different lover home seven straight days
Picked off -When sexual activity is interrupted by a third party (such as a parent, roommate or child)
Picked off a base – Being refused any more “bases” because of perceived lack of skill or ability
Pinch hitter – Having an affair
Pinch runner – 1) Tag-team sex with a roommate, 2) Going to the sperm bank to get pregnant
Pine tar – Lube such as KY Jelly
Pitcher – The active or top partner in (especially homosexual) anal sex or sexual intercourse
Pitcher and catcher – The participants in male homosexual anal intercourse
Playing catch – Holding hands
Plays for the other team – Confirmed homosexual, either gender
Prefers tiddlywinks in the dugout – Suspected homosexual (usually male)
Pregnant – Missing the playoffs
Pulling a Bill Buckner – When a drunken girl, due to her intoxicated state, has sex and is ostracized by her virgin friends
Radio broadcasted game – Hearing your neighbors/roommates have sex
Rain delay – 1) Postponing of a date/sex typically as a result of menstruation, but also from unforeseeable circumstances (mood, headache, parents, roommates, police, etc.), 2) Pausing sex so one of the partners can pee
Rain shortened game – 1) A quickie, 2) Sex interrupted by a parent, roommate, police, etc.
Rainout – Coming during foreplay
Reaching on a drop third strike – Licking whip cream out of a strippers ass crack at a bachelor party
Relegated to the Minors – Getting dumped and having to turn to masturbation for sexual gratification
Relief pitcher – A vibrator
Retirement – Marriage
Road Game – Sex in a car
Robbed at the fence – Blue balls
Rookie – Virgin
Rounding third – Blow job
Running the concession booth – Confirmed sluts who only have sex with the players from other team.
Sacrifice Bunt – 1) A woman getting her tubes tied or a hysterectomy, 2) Taking one for the team, but you don’t do anything while your friend gets laid
Sacrifice Fly – 1) A man/woman who sacrifice their dignity and get with a below average friend of a lover so that your friend can score, 2) A male gets a vasectomy, 3) A person performs oral sex on a second person, allowing the second person have an orgasm, while the first person experiences discomfort due to their partners pubic hair
Safety squeeze – Grab-assing in a social situation when you know nobody is looking
Scoring – Intercourse
Scoring on an error – A wet dream
Scoring position – About to have sex
Scout – Someone scoping out another man’s date
Seventh inning stretch – 1) Slowing things down during sex by taking a moment for oral sex, 2) an unusual position
Shortstop – Manual stimulation leading to orgasm
Sliding cleats up – A woman’s teeth on a man’s penis during oral sex
Slump buster – Having sex with someone who you are not attracted to, for the sole purpose of getting back in the “game”
Spectator – Peeping Tom
Stealing home – Rape
Stealing signs – Cock blocking
Steroids – Viagra or Cialis
Steve Bartman – Reaching out and groping a another guy’s girlfriends boob
Strikeout – Failure to engage in any form of foreplay or sexual activity
Strikeout looking – A woman gives a guy a clear sign she wants him on one of the bases, but he just lets it go by and the opportunity is lost.
Suspended – One partner says they want to end a relationship because they need some time alone
Swinging for the fences – Cumming inside of her
Switch hitter – 1) a bisexual, 2) sex with her one night, and her brother the next
Taking one for the team – Having sex with a less attractive woman in order for one’s friends to attract another woman.
Televised game – Porn
Three run homer – Sexual intercourse three times in one night
Three up and three down – Impotency, inability to perform
Thrown out at home plate – Premature climax
Thrown out at the plate – 1) A guy loses his ejection because he can’t get the condom on in time, 2) When intercourse is refused at the last moment as a result of physical appearance in the nude, not having a condom, or inability to obtain or maintain an erection
Trade – Swinging
Trading deadline – Last call at a bar
Triple play – An orgy
Two run homer – Sexual intercourse two times in one night
Umpire blocking the home plate – Sex attempted during the wrong time of the month
Unassisted triple play – Standing 69, woman holding guy
Unearned run – A person has sexual intercourse while drunk, and later regrets it
Unofficial game – Friends with benefits
Utility man – Sex toy user
Veteran – Prostitute
Walk – 1) Getting to first base with one who is sexually promiscuous, 2) A goodnight kiss, celebratory kiss, or any other kind of non-romantic kiss
Walk off grand slam – A satisfying one-time sexual encounter, as in a one-night stand
Walk-off homerun – Finishing quickly and jumping out the window when the husband pulls in the driveway
Warning track – Pubic hair
Warning track power – Able to get it up and fuck, but not quite able to finish the deal
Wild pitch – A guy blowing his load over a woman’s head/body