175 (Count Them!) Baseball Relationship & Sex Metaphors

Jan 29, 2013 by

1.29.2013 a_steal_baseball_players_kissing

With assistance from Mae Mordabito

A site blending our passion for baseball, sex and cherry pie must, by definition alone, have the web’s most comprehensive list of baseball relationship and sex metaphors.

No one knows for sure when baseball terms became synonymous with sex but whoever started it ought to have a bleacher section at The Jake in Cleveland named after him.   It’s such a simple concept that makes describing what happened last night between you and your significant other to a friend easier than hitting a home-run at mile high Coors Field.

Historically, metaphors linking sex and baseball are a fairly recent development. According the Entropic Memes, a blog billing itself as a “random musings on history, politics, and more,” baseball metaphors first appeared in a book about politics in 1920 and then again in a magazine article in 1936.  Both times however, the terms referred only to progress in general.  No innuendos, no hidden meaning, no nothing.

All that started to change however in 1940’s when a writer for a popular magazine for secretaries warned her fictitious younger sister just entering the work force to avoid office gossip.  The sister’s advice included samples of typical office gossip followed by this observation about one of the gossipers, “that from a girl who’d tried to flirt with John and didn’t get to first base.”

Ok, but none of these instances though made any references to sex or relationships and all of them stopped at first base.  No mention of second base or “grand slam,” “balk” or “rookies” for that matter.

1.28.2013 Ann LandersThen came the 1960’s, the sexual revolution, and society throwing off its inhibitions faster than Buster Posey throws out a Dodger stealing second.  The pitch came in a 1965 letter to Ann Landers from a 13 year old girl asking what “getting to second base” meant.  The ever-prudent Landers advised the girl to “get out of the line-up and stay on the bench for a couple of years.” However well meaning, Landers’ advice went unheeded by lovers of baseball and loving.  The ball had found a gap in the outfield and was rolling to the fence.  The runners, shall we say, were rounding the bases.

So here is Home Runs & Cherry Pie’s complete, comprehensive, and exhaustive list of baseball and sex metaphors.  Listed in alphabetical order the 175+ metaphors may be the most wide-ranging directory of baseball metaphors on the web, and we’re sure there more out there.

If you know one that is not included in the list, submit your metaphor in the comment section below.  Mae and I will add the best ones to the list with the proper, and always discreet, attribution.

Ace – A woman that rarely lets any guys get on base.

Agent – Pimp

All Stars Game – Doing it with your ex-girlfriend while still going out with your present girlfriend

Around the horn – Tossing the woman’s panties around after a gang bang

Backdoor Slider – Unexpected anal sex1.29.2013 threesome

Balk – Premature Ejaculation

Baltimore chop – Lorena Bobbitt

Bases loaded – 1) Being in the midst of a threesome, 2) A full orgy

Bat Boy – 1) Someone who has never done anything sexual with a partner, 2) Someone who frequently masturbates.

Batter’s box – A bed

Batting around – 1) Orgy, 2) Gang bang

Batting for average – Having sex on as many one night stands as possible

Batting glove – 1) Sexual aide, 2) Condoms or other contraceptives

Batting helmet – A Condom

Batting out of order – Gay sex

Batting practice– Masturbation

Being called up from the minors– Having a sexual encounter while not quite 18 years old

Being traded – Being dumped for someone else

Bleacher seats – Roommate watching while you have sex

Blowing the save – Being friends with a chick on the rebound and agreeing to listen to her whining in exchange for what you hope will be a good rebound lay, only to be denied

Bonds – An erection where the head inexplicably doubles in size

Box Seats – Waterbed

Breaking up two – A jealous rival prevents you from turning a threesome

Broken bat – Impotency, an inability to perform

Bunting – Masturbation

Bunting for a hit – An attempt by a person to seduce a woman perceived as uglier so as to “get back in the game”

Catcher – The passive receiver or bottom partner in (especially homosexual) anal sex or sexual intercourse

Catcher’s mitt – Female condom

Caught Looking – Caught checking out another girl on a date.

Charging the mound – 1) Titty fuck, 2) When two males fight over a desired female who was flirting with both men

1.29.2013 sex-couple-kitchen-floor-298x232Cheap seats – Having sex on the floor

Check Your Swing – Being about to get with a lover, but then at the last moment decide that it’s not a good idea, and that you’ll try your chances when a better partner comes along

Chin music – 1) A facial, 2) When a guy’s entire penis is in his partner’s mouth

Choking up on the bat – Deep throating

Clearing the bases – Changing the sheets

Closer – Signature finishing move

Coach’s box – Porn director’s chair

Complete game shutout – Anal sex

Corked bat – A man takes performance enhancing drugs.

Curtain call – A man’s best friend’s girlfriend calls invites him to come over for a quickie

Day game – Sex in the middle of the day

Dead ball era – The time before birth control or Viagra became available

Designated hitter – 1) A go-to casual sexual partner, 2) Prostitute

Disabled list – A person who has sex so many times they become exhausted

1.29.2013 second baseDouble – Touching or kissing the breasts, over or under the shirt,

Double header – Sex two times in one day

Double play – Pleasing two lovers at one time, a threesome

Double switch – An attempt by a man to change the point of penetration, without warning the female.

Drawing a walk after a 10 pitch at bat – Getting a blow job after an hour of making out

Ejected from game – 1) The guy moved too fast and she’s not talking to him. 2) Partner throws off the other during rough sex

Error – Condom break

Extra innings – Lasting more than 9 minutes before cumming.

Farm system – Attractive girl’s less attractive friends who are easier to score on

Fast ball – A guy finishes after just three strokes

Fielder’s choice – 1) When 2 guys are both trying to get with the same girl, and you know that only one is going to reach base, 2) When one guy gets to first base, only to be rejected due to a friend’s dumb move

Fifth base – Anal sex

First base coach – A wingman

Five-tool player – A guy or gal good at foreplay, oral, regular, anal, and escaping without the spouse catching him/her.

Forfeit – Getting stood-up

Forgot the catcher’s mitt – Neglecting to bring protection

Foul ball – Being shut down, but in a nice way

Foul tip – 1) Venereal disease, 2) What a man gets when he sticks his penis in a foul vagina

Fouled out – The guy didn’t get anywhere with a woman, but not for lack of trying

Free agent – A recently dumped but currently unattached guy or gal

Frozen rope – Massive erection

Full count – When a guy closes his eyes, count to 10, says a prayer and hopes he ke1.29.2013 interruptedeps it in

Gambling on the game – Having sex without a condom

Game called on account of rain – A sexual experience interrupted by siblings, parents, roommates, police, janitor, etc.

Getting the signals crossed – Moving in for intercourse and ending up with a strike out

Grand slam – 1) Sexual intercourse four or more times in one night, 2) Sexual intercourse after knowing the other person for only one day, 3) Anal sex, 4) a pregnancy, 5, Taking a woman home for four straight nights

Grapefruit league – A woman with big tits

Ground rule double – 1) A woman swallows at the end of oral sex, 2) Having sex but only because the man took his lover out on an extravagant date. 3) Sex would have been possible, but someone forgot the protection, 4) A man flashed by a woman or vice versa

Hall of Fame – When you ask if “Was it good for you” and they say “YES!!!”, 2) 250 lovers in a lifetime

Hall of Fame weekend  – A different lover every night of the weekend

Headfirst slide – Muff diving

Hidden ball trick – When a man tucks his penis behind his legs

Hit and run – Quickie, a wham, bam, thank you ma’am, 2) One night stand

Hit by pitch – Non-consensual kiss

Hitting for the cycle – 1) One guy sleeps with all of the girls that live in one location (e.g. 2, 3, or 4 room apartments), 2) Or when he doesn’t sleep with all of them he gets to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base with the others 4) Four lovers in one weekend

Hitting the foul pole – Missed the target and hit her thigh

Holding a runner on first base – Going down on a girl while trying to keep your dick hard

Home run – Sexual intercourse

Infield fly – Accidentally having sex with a woman’s inner thigh.

Infield Fly rule – When there is an unequal ratio of males to females at a party, and a member of the gender with more members leaves to create an equal ratio

Inside the park home run – 1) A non-intercourse orgasm resulting from dry humping (clothed genital to genital stimulation),  2) Oral sex given and received

Japanese leagues – Bukakke

Journeyman – A male slut

Juggling the lineup – Deciding which fuck buddy to go with for the night

Lead-off homerun – Sex on the first date1.29.2013 hearing

Line drive – A man ejaculates on a woman’s face.

Local TV blackout – Hearing your parents have sex

Minor leagues – A lover under 18 years old, a minor

MoisesAlou’ing – Golden shower

Mound visit – Seeing your doctor about erectile dysfunction, venereal disease.

Night game – Necrophilia, being sexually attracted to corpses

Ninth inning – Sexual encounter with an elderly person

No hitter – Abstinence from sexual activity

No hitter – Standing blow job

Non-batter – Virgin, usually by choice

On-deck – 1) Waiting for her to dump her boyfriend/husband, 2) flirting while holding hands

Out of play – That time of the month

Out of the park homerun – Going to the bar at 10:30pm, getting drunk, leaving the bar with a woman you just met, fucking her, and going to bed, all before midnight.

Passed ball – A woman dodges a guy’s load

Perfect game – Standing 69

Perfect week – Taking a different lover home seven straight days

Picked off  -When sexual activity is interrupted by a third party (such as a parent, roommate or child)

Picked off a base – Being refused any more “bases” because of perceived lack of skill or ability

1.29.2013 cheatingPickle – Getting caught cheating on a partner

Pinch hitter – Having an affair

Pinch runner – 1) Tag-team sex with a roommate, 2) Going to the sperm bank to get pregnant

Pine tar – Lube such as KY Jelly

Pitcher – The active or top partner in (especially homosexual) anal sex or sexual intercourse

Pitcher and catcher – The participants in male homosexual anal intercourse

Playing catch – Holding hands

Plays for the other team – Confirmed homosexual, either gender

Prefers tiddlywinks in the dugout – Suspected homosexual (usually male)

Pregnant – Missing the playoffs

Pulling a Bill Buckner – When a drunken girl, due to her intoxicated state, has sex and is ostracized by her virgin friends

Radio broadcasted game – Hearing your neighbors/roommates have sex

Rain delay – 1) Postponing of a date/sex typically as a result of menstruation, but also from unforeseeable circumstances (mood, headache, parents, roommates, police, etc.), 2) Pausing sex so one of the partners can pee

Rain shortened game – 1) A quickie, 2) Sex interrupted by a parent, roommate, police, etc.

Rainout – Coming during foreplay

1.29.2013 condomRally Cap – Ribbed condom

Reaching on a drop third strike – Licking whip cream out of a strippers ass crack at a bachelor party

Relegated to the Minors – Getting dumped and having to turn to masturbation for sexual gratification

Relief pitcher – A vibrator

Retirement – Marriage

Road Game – Sex in a car

Robbed at the fence – Blue balls

Rookie – Virgin

Rounding third – Blow job

Running the concession booth – Confirmed sluts who only have sex with the players from other team.

Sacrifice Bunt – 1) A woman getting her tubes tied or a hysterectomy, 2) Taking one for the team, but you don’t do anything while your friend gets laid

Sacrifice Fly – 1) A man/woman who sacrifice their dignity and get with a below average friend of a lover so that your friend can score, 2) A male gets a vasectomy, 3) A person performs oral sex on a second person, allowing the second person have an orgasm, while the first person experiences discomfort due to their partners pubic hair

Safety squeeze – Grab-assing in a social situation when you know nobody is looking

Scoring – Intercourse

Scoring on an error – A wet dream

Scoring position – About to have sex

Scout – Someone scoping out another man’s date

Seventh inning stretch – 1) Slowing things down during sex by taking a moment for oral sex, 2) an unusual position

Shortstop – Manual stimulation leading to orgasm

1.29.2013 kissingSingle – Kissing, especially “French” kissing

Sliding cleats up – A woman’s teeth on a man’s penis during oral sex

Slump buster – Having sex with someone who you are not attracted to, for the sole purpose of getting back in the “game”

Spectator – Peeping Tom

Stealing home – Rape

Stealing signs – Cock blocking

Steroids – Viagra or Cialis

Steve Bartman – Reaching out and groping a another guy’s girlfriends boob

Strikeout – Failure to engage in any form of foreplay or sexual activity

Strikeout looking – A woman gives a guy a clear sign she wants him on one of the bases, but he just lets it go by and the opportunity is lost.

Suspended – One partner says they want to end a relationship because they need some time alone

Swinging for the fences – Cumming inside of her

Switch hitter – 1) a bisexual, 2) sex with her one night, and her brother the next

Taking one for the team – Having sex with a less attractive woman in order for one’s friends to attract another woman.

Televised game – Porn

Three run homer – Sexual intercourse three times in one night

Three up and three down – Impotency, inability to perform

Thrown out at home plate – Premature climax

Thrown out at the plate – 1) A guy loses his ejection because he can’t get the condom on in time, 2) When intercourse is refused at the last moment as a result of physical appearance in the nude, not having a condom, or inability to obtain or maintain an erection

Trade – Swinging

Trading deadline – Last call at a bar

1.29.2013 foreplayTriple – Touching below the belt, manual or oral stimulation of the genitals

Triple play – An orgy

Two run homer – Sexual intercourse two times in one night

Umpire blocking the home plate – Sex attempted during the wrong time of the month

Unassisted triple play – Standing 69, woman holding guy

Unearned run – A person has sexual intercourse while drunk, and later regrets it

Unofficial game – Friends with benefits

Utility man – Sex toy user

Veteran – Prostitute

Walk – 1) Getting to first base with one who is sexually promiscuous, 2) A goodnight kiss, celebratory kiss, or any other kind of non-romantic kiss

Walk off grand slam – A satisfying one-time sexual encounter, as in a one-night stand

Walk-off homerun – Finishing quickly and jumping out the window when the husband pulls in the driveway

Warning track – Pubic hair

Warning track power – Able to get it up and fuck, but not quite able to finish the deal

Wild pitch – A guy blowing his load over a woman’s head/body


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